i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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