My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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