Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize