I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
