this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
