Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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