Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
