so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
