just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Hippo gnu deer
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
