I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Can I color on your dick again?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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