I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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