totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
