He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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