grandma shit on top of the toilet
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
