put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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