Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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