yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
