Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Randomize
