And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
