After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
