Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
