fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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