Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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