so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Randomize
