Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
