the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
