I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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