Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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