Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
