We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
