she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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