I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
