her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
