I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
