ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
