Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
