Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
