Pants 0. Shit 1.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
