walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
