What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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