oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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