i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
