I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
