Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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