I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
