Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
