K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
