I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
