I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
