; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
