I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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